Ok, maybe I went too far. A few weeks ago on a Sunday morning, I had a relevation that besides my private lessons, I'm not really doing much for my career. I can blame the whore where I student taught, I can blame VT dept of ed for taking forever with the license stuff, and I can blame my location for lack of jobs. But really, I haven't done much, and it's my fault. So, I started researching grad schools and I requested info and applications. Don't know if I want education or conducting (performance was out of the question because my skills are lacking right now). I also emailed my old lesson teacher Steve to see if he would maybe put our terrible past behind him and let me take lessons.
I felt on top of the world. I was being proactive!
Then last night when I was sitting outside of his studio... I was hating myself for thinking I could do this. Why why why why why? I was so nervous.
But I walk in, and basically tells me that he is flattered I want lessons again, and he's sitting there encouraging me to think about performance for grad school.
So I started feeling better.
So, I've started this whole series of events that are making me think about my future. My teaching license should be on the way, and I'm opening up options for myself. I can handle this, for now.
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