Drunk after Karaoke

So I went to karaoke tonight with Josh, Lisa, and a guy friend who was obviously gay...
I sang "heartbreaker" by pat benetar, mostly sober at that point, and then 'what's going on' by 4 non-blondes, mostly drunk at that point. The guy who was djing said that if i ever wanted a career... then later on waved at me and showed some muscle. I yelled, "yeah, but what else do you have?" and he pointed down... at the groin area, and i turned away. Too much information. He knows I'm with Jim too. That was too weird, crossing a boundary.
Anyway. I had a fun night. At first I was super nervous to sing... because Jim wasn't there.
Today is his first day on the long trail. He forgot to give me his map of where he'd be on which day, but hopefully I will catch up to him on July 11th in Middlebury. I hope SO badly. I've realized after that past weeks events, if this happened with anybody else I probly wouldn't still want a relationsiph. I would be questioning things.

However, I firmly believe that he has become, and is still becoming, the love of my life. I can't tell him. I don't want to put pressure there. I can say anything to him. I can ask any question, or be a big idiot and he still loves me. All the things that make him human and not super-human-boyfriend make me love him more. For example, he questions everything. Some might find it annnoying, butbeing myself, I dont' live in reality. He does. I need his questioning. It reminds me that I can't retreat into my own story line and that while I can make my own destiny, those involved also have a say.
I want to START this life with him, and the whole job thing and moving makes me nervous. I know he is my soulmate and I have to just let it happend. It's hard though.

Argh. I miss him. Couldn't sleep last night. Kept waking up and realizing I was still on my side... even though I could do the entire bed. Want to rush in the morning so that he can get the shower too. Want to see him at home making homemade spaghetti sauce when I walk home from work.
Can't wait for July 22nd. The first day of what lies ahead for us.

I know I'm a sap. If you can't handle it, close the browser, yo!